This Week in Guidance

 

 

This week I will return to the Blue hallway and we will read the story "When I feel Afraid". Students will learn what to do when they feel scared. The little girl in the story learns that she can talk to someone who cares about her or someone she trusts like a family member, a teacher, the counselor, or the principal. She also learned that it helps to get your mind off of your worries by talking, laughing, or playing with friends; she can think about something that makes her happy; she could read books, draw pictures, play outdoors, take a walk, make something, play games, sing a song, go to a quiet place where she feels safe and take some deep breaths, say a prayer or think about the good things in her life. When she feels scared at bedtime she can use a night light, sleep with a stuffed animal or have mom or dad tuck her in and read her favorite bedtime story. The story also talks about things that scare young children like storms, the dark, watching scaring movies or playing scary games like zombies. As a parent it's important to realize that times are much different than when we were growing up. Children can easily be exposed to information way above their developmental level simply because of changes in technology. Many people now have over 600 T.V. channels and sometimes our kids, for one reason or another watch movies that are PG-13 or even 'R' rated. Remember there is a reason for the ratings (most professionals believe this information is not appropriate for a certain age group). Many of us spend a great deal of time on our smartphones, tablets, computers, online gaming etc. It's easy to forget that most of these programs and games are not appropriate for young children due to the violence, cursing, sexual themes etc. Another thing parents should keep in mind is that 4- and 5-year-olds cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality so they believe these things are real! If you notice a situation in which your child seems scared, please encourage them to practice the skills they learned from the lesson.



This Week in Guidance

 

 

 

This week students learn about the power of their words. Students are encouraged to use "Magic Triad" or kind words.  They learn that they have the power to choose which words they use and that those words can hurt or help others. Helpful words are words such as "Good morning", "Hello", "Let's work together", "I'm glad we're friends", "We can take turns", "I like your smile" etc. Hurtful words are words such as "You're not my friend", "You're shirt is ugly", "We don't want to play with you", etc. Students learn that everyone makes mistakes and sometimes uses hurtful words and when we do we should apologize. When students hear hurtful words, they should say "Words are not for hurting. Please don't say those things" or "Those are not Magic Triad words, please don't say those things." They also learn that they can tell a grown-up or get help if needed. Please encourage your child to use Magic Triad words and praise them when you hear them using kind words. If you happen to use an unkind word, serve as a model for your child by saying "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, those were not Magic Triad words." If your child seems hurt by something someone said, acknowledge their feelings by stating "You felt sad/mad/scared when he/she said....." This will help your child learn to recognize his/her feelings and to start to understand how their own words can affect another person's feelings. When you say something kind to your child and they smile it is just as important to acknowledge that feeling as well. You might say "You felt really happy when I said....." We all know that words affect our thoughts, thoughts affect our feelings and feelings affect our behavior. When someone says something kind it usually leads to a pleasant thought that makes us feel happy. When we are happy we tend to engage in more healthy behaviors. Let's help our kiddos develop a healthy self-esteem and good social skills by encouraging kind words!

This Week in Guidance

 

This week we will be focusing on the feeling of anger. Anger is a normal feeling that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. How we respond to anger, however, is typically learned by observing those around us. In other words, children learn by watching (parents, siblings, T.V., videos, etc.) how others respond to anger provoking situations. One way you can help your child with this skill is to teach them to recognize when they are feeling angry and to label the emotion. For example, if you see that your child is becoming angry because he/she didn't get to buy a toy while at Wal-Mart, you might say "You really feel angry that you can't have that toy." Then you can help them learn how to cope with the feeling by saying "When I feel angry I feel better when..." (I talk about it/think of something else/take a few deep breaths/read a book/do something else/count to 10/sing my favorite song/play outside/draw or color a picture/squeeze some Play-Doh/go somewhere quiet etc.). Once you acknowledge the feeling, if your child continues to whine or cry, you should try to ignore the behavior and periodically continue to acknowledge their feelings. You may need to set a limit with your child if the behavior continues or escalates by offering a choice for example, you could say "If you choose to continue to cry, then you choose to give up (watching a favorite T.V. show; playing a favorite game, etc.)" and "If you choose to calm down and take your breaths, then you  choose to watch your show tonight".  It is important to know that when you state your choices you have to consider your child's age and ensure that the choice is developmentally appropriate. It would be inappropriate to say that a 2, 3, 4 or 5-year-old could not watch T.V. for the entire day, or for a few days. For them, that is an eternity! It is also important to help children learn the physical cues associated with anger by stating "Your face is really red; I bet your heart is beating really fast; You have an angry face" etc. All of these interventions will help your child learn to identify and appropriately cope with their emotions. If you would like further information regarding this topic please let me know. I also have a video "Choices, Cookies & Kids: How to teach your child Self-Control & Self-Discipline" by Dr. Garry Landreth that you can view at school to learn more about how to set limits with your child. Please watch the puppet show under the tab "Puppet Scenarios" with your child and ask him or her to share what they learned from this week's lesson. You may type a comment from your child in response to the puppet's problem. This will provide the perfect opportunity for you to address the topic with your child. Once your child identifies strategies that can be used, you can reinforce the strategies by encouraging your child to try them when they are angry.



This Week in Guidance

 

Preschoolers need to learn to appropriately label, cope with, and express their emotions. Typically, children this age act out their feelings and/or cry when they feel overwhelmed or experience intense feelings because they do not have the ability to use abstract terms to express themselves. As children mature they will eventually be able to master this skill, however, it's important to be patient, model healthy behaviors, so our children will know what to do, and encourage our children to practice. One way we can help our children is to teach them to identify and label their feeling when we notice that they are upset and show them how to cope with emotions by modeling appropriate behavior, for example, "That really scared you; when I feel scared I watch a funny movie; talk to a friend; listen to music" etc. While children often know what they are not supposed to do in a situation, they have no idea how to help themselves. For example, they may realize that if they get mad and throw a toy they will not be able to play with the toy for awhile, yet they don't know what they should do when they get mad to help calm down such as take a deep breath, go to a quiet place, etc. This week's lesson will focus on learning to identify the feeling of "fear" and learning how to appropriately cope with and express this feeling. They will learn the following strategies: 1) talk to someone they trust or who cares about them such as their parent, grandparent, teacher, or an older sibling, 2) talk to community helpers such as nurses, doctors, police officers, and firefighters, 3) talk, laugh, and play with friends to get their mind off of the fear, 4) think about other things that they enjoy such as baking cookies with grandma or playing at the park with dad, 5) look at and/or read a book, 6) draw a picture about what is scaring them, how they feel or about something they enjoy doing, 7) play outside or take a walk, 8) play a game, 9) sing a song, 10) go to a quiet place where they feel safe, 11) take deep breaths, 12) say a prayer, 13) think about the good things in their lives, or 14) use a night-light at bed time. As a parent, you may have other ideas and options for your child. Please take time this week to talk to your child about the feeling of fear and what they can do if they feel afraid. Also, please keep in mind that children this age are unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality. They really believe the monsters they see in movies are real! Please monitor the movies and games your child plays and views. There is a good reason for the ratings that are used on these products, most experts in our country believe they are inappropriate for children of certain ages. If your child is often fearful or anxious, think about what they may be watching on T.V. or playing on X-Box, or seeing/hearing an older sibling or adult play or do. If you have any questions regarding this issue please feel free to send me a private message or give me a call at school. I would be happy to help.